several reasons the fourth twilight book (whatever it's called) is awful:

In the past month or so, I've had a few conversations with a few different people regarding the Twilight series. Specifically, book four. (I can't tell you the name of it without looking it up; they're all "Twilight" to me.)

I've read all the books, so I feel like I can dole out any review I see fit. And the way I see it is: the entire series is ri-dang-diculous.

I've only read them once (because reading them more than once seems like a horrible punishment). Also, I haven't read them since about a week after the last book was published. (How many years ago was that?)

I thought book one was a fun little escape from reality. Ridiculous, but entertaining.

Was it book two where Edward left and Bella became a teenage toddler? Whining and tantrumming and showing her truly obnoxious colors? (What did Edward and Jacob see in Bella, anyway? Not that either fellow was all that enticing, either.) I didn't care for book two...

Book three...I can't recall what the what happened in book three. Edward was back, right? Something about the Volturi? Or maybe something to do with a specific vampire wanting to suck Bella's blood because she smells so good? The only thing I remember about book three is that I didn't like it at all.

But did that stop me from buying book four? No, it did not. In fact, I remember rolling my eyes at myself when I stood in line to make my purchase, recalling with clarity how annoyed I was by the majority of the characters. I wasn't Team Edward or Team Jacob; I was Team Get-The-Heck-Away-From-Forks-Washington-And-Find-A-Mortal-And-Live-A-Normal-Happy-Life. 

But I bought book four the week it came out because I was morbidly curious  as to how on earth Stephenie Meyer was going to end this dang saga. 

I had no idea she would provide me with so many reasons to hate book four, but, boy, did she!

Remember, it's been a few years (four?) since I read it, so my memory is kinda spotty on some of the details. But here goes:

-Bella being a pout-face about Edward wanting to be old fashioned and wait until marriage before they consummate their relationship. 

-The fact that Edward is capable of reproducing. Seems like someone without a pulse ought not be able to reproduce, am I right?

-The way it was written, I always figured that the baby was demon spawn.

-Rosalie suddenly warming up to Bella because of said demon spawn.

-The pregnancy going so incredibly quickly; isn't it weird that the vampire sperm was the deciding factor in how quickly it went, and not Bella's mortal body? (I know this entire argument is dumb-dumb, but it annoyed me, so it's on the list.)

-Bella-the-human sucking down blood during her pregnancy. It grossed me out. Hard. Especially since, when the baby is born, they figure out baby can have regular people food or blood; seems like blood-during-pregnancy was completely unnecessary.

-Bella named her daughter Renesmee. I realize it's a combination of her mother and Edward's adopted vamp-mom, but come on. I figure if it had been a boy they should have named him Charlisle. (I know Bella had a name picked out for a boy, but I don't remember what it was. Plus, I'm funny.)

-Baby Renesmee grows, like, super fast. And I give Stephenie props for sticking to her super-fast-growing-spawn, but...I don't know. Maybe the part that annoyed me most was that Alice and Rosalie bought the kid tons of outfits for pictures to document it so that she seemed like a regular kid. Even though she's half-immortal and is anything but regular. I figure I'd document the fact that she's growing ridiculously fast, right? Because...I don't know; I've already talked about this point for way too long.

-Once Bella becomes a vampire, it's discovered that she's got ultra amazing self-control when it comes to smelling people blood and not going crazy.

-Re: the self-control: the Cullens wonder if it's Bella's new found super power.

-Why do all of the Cullens get super powers, anyway? It's supposed to be rare.

-Later we find out that it's not, in fact, her super power; she has another one! So the self-control came from her preparation? In knowing what she'd become before she turned? I don't buy it.

-Bella's real super power is a force field to protect all her loved ones. Pretty neat, huh? FORCE FIELD! My family and friends are safe from any hurtful thing that can happen to them! Yessss!

-Vampire sex is supposed to be, like, elevated from mere mortal sex. Humans just don't know.

-The entire book is anti-climactic. The Volturi come, ready to destroy the Cullens, the demon baby, and everyone who stands in their way; yet when they show up, NOTHING HAPPENS. They see that the demon baby is in fact half-immortal (not possible), which they think is pretty neat, and then they go on their merry way home. They might as well have held hands and skipped off into the twilight as they left, or flown home on unicorns. Great literature is supposed to have a climax and some sort of resolution, whether happy or sad. Heck, even crappy literature has a climax! I feel like Stephenie Meyer could’ve made this a less terrible book if she’d have even faked a climax, like they did in the movie version (Twilight four-point-two, as I like to call it. Yes, I’ve seen the movies, but that’s another story for another time).

Aaaaanyway. I'm quite certain that there are more reasons I hated the book, but, as I already told you, it's been years. And I refuse to read it again.