FULL

Dear Thomas,

Our lives are full these days.

Full of running around the apartment (with your momma getting tired far sooner than you). You are a bundle of energy, and as tired as it makes me, I'm so grateful you're so healthy and energetic.

Full of snack time; your favorites are cheese sticks, Simply Cheetos Cheese Puffs - White Cheddar, veggie straws, and dried blueberries/cherries. You've got pretty good taste, buddy.

Speaking of food, our lives are full of crunchy, sticky floors. When you're finished eating, you insist on tossing all your un-eaten food onto the floor. Your sippy cups, too. Your dad and I are trying to teach you to not do that, but you're not taking to the idea very well.

Full of silly noises; you walk around growling constantly, and I get the impression that you love chasing Donna around the house while you growl like some sort of wild thing. I love that growl of yours. You blow raspberries all. the time. I don't mind it terribly; it's pretty funny most of the time. But I don't love when you blow giant, slimy raspberries at church. It's very distracting to everyone within earshot. You've always been quite "verbal," but it's happening more regularly these days. You jabber frequently, and often with passion. Also, you make this little bubbly sound with your lips, and it sounds exactly like the flying car from The Jetsons. Oh, Tommy, it's really cute and pretty hilarious.

Full of little tantrums. I'm not sure what sets you off half the time, but you sure do let us know when you're even the teensiest bit annoyed. You typically have utter disregard for the word "no," but sometimes you start to cry when we say it, as if we've physically harmed you. It's the saddest thing, and I promise I don't say "no" just for fun.

Full of messes. You're like a tornado, my boy. This might be the hardest part of my life right now--but  I'm pretty sure it's your favorite part. I'll start cleaning up one of your messes, and just as I'm finishing, you look over and remember how fun that thing is to play with, and you mess it up again while I'm straightening up another one of your messes. It's a vicious cycle. And know this, Thomas, I'm going to teach you to clean as soon as possible. And one day when it makes legitimate sense, you won't get to play with another toy until your last toy is cleaned up. I'm looking forward to your future help on this, kid.

Full of fatigue, especially on my end. We had you sleep trained for a handful of glorious weeks, and then you got sick with croup, and teething hit full-force, and it all fell by the wayside. Most nights, you wake up at least twice, screaming for a binky you can't find + demanding snuggles. I know I need to just start retraining you to self-soothe and all that crap, but I'm so tired right now that it's easier to bring you to bed until you're calm and then put you back in your crib. I'm determined to kick sleep training into high gear over Christmas break.

Full of no-no's and redirection. You, my young lad, get into everything lately, most especially the books in the bookcase in the front room. And the Lazy Susan in the kitchen. And the dishwasher (turning it on whenever you see fit). The list goes on, bug. We've taken to closing all the doors to keep you from making messes in all the rooms, but we don't have a kitchen door, so we have to redirect you all. the time.

Full of giggles. You've got the greatest laugh, and it's my favorite sound in all the land. I can't make you laugh nearly as hard as your dada can, but anytime I hear you giggle, I melt on the spot.

Full of story time. I love that you love books! One of my favorite things is having you sit on my lap while I read to you. You snuggle in and you actually sit still for a spell, and I swear it's like magic. Dada has started reading The Chronicles of Narnia with you, and it's just so precious to see you sit on his lap and listen to his voice while you stroke your Giraffey's tail. Let's keep this up, okay, baby dude?

Full of snuggles. This is amazing and wonderful. You were born an anti-snuggler, and now you enjoy cuddles. I didn't know a baby could switch, but you did, and I adore when you put your head on my shoulder and softly pat my back. You're a good cuddle buddy.

Full of love. You are the sweetest little boy. You've taught me that it's possible to both be frustrated by and super smitten with a tiny human in equal measure. You've stretched me in so many ways, including my heart and capacity to love. You're my best little buddy and I thank my lucky stars that I get to be your Momma.

You are full of such intelligence, I can see it in your eyes. You're nervous around crowds and you definitely have your favorite people (and giraffes), but you have such a capacity to love.  Keep your spunk and determination. The world is your oyster, bubba, and you'll go far.

toddling

Tommy's been walking since just before he turned one. Like, walking-walking running-walking.

He's less naked than he looks in this picture.

The boss of our lives: Prince Tommy

He falls down constantly, which he typically is pretty good-natured about. But when he whacks his big old noggin? Yikes.

Honestly, all things considered, he's pretty good-natured about that as well. I mean, when I knock my head on stuff, I curse and hate the world, so crying is par for the course, right? Especially for a cute, big-headed baby?

Licking tha bathtub after drinking his bathwater. 

I just feel so bad when he gets hurt. I know it's all part of the learning curve, and it's going to happen fairly often for the next while.

He has multiple bruises on his head + face all the time. Just as one begins to fade, he smacks his head again. It's the worst.

See the bruise on his brow?

Add in the pains of teething (read: molars), and you'll start to get the idea of how fun life is for Thomas just now.

That aside, I really love this whole early toddlerhood stage.

Enjoying his birthday cupcake.

Screaming at Santa...

...and running from Santa.

Literally.

Tommy is so dang much fun! He loves being read to. He's so snuggly (which is amazing, because he started out his life decidedly "not a snuggler.")! He pants when he breathes sometimes, just for the heck of it. He randomly claps for himself. HE GROWLS! He sometimes walks around with one hand behind his back like a little gentleman. He squishes his fists to his face when he cries + is really upset (sometimes just a single fist). He loves being tossed about by his Dada, and saves his biggest laughs for when he's playing with Dad. He apparently shouts "Mama!" and "Dada!" all day long while we're at work, and I think that's so dang precious.

He's always getting into stuff he ought not: bookshelves, the Christmas tree, a variety of kitchen drawers that are above his reach (which seems to make it more fun for the boy), the bathroom cupboards, trying to eat everything he finds on the floor, unraveling the toilet paper when I accidentally leave the door open...the list goes on.

Here he is eating a rock.

Here he is eating another rock.

Check out that smolder.

Tommy boy, you're the raddest and I'm glad I get to be your mom.

maybe i'm in denial

Thomas is closing in on his first year outside the womb.

Sorry. That was a weird way to say he's turning one. Like, tomorrow.

Pregnancy was crazy + strange, labor was long + hard, and then...there was Thomas.

This past year has been amazing. Being Tom's mom is amazing.

I feel quite certain that nothing can prepare a gal for motherhood. Post pregnancy hormones are nuts. Getting your body back but not really getting your body back is coo-coo. Nursing-mom hunger is so much fiercer than pregnancy hunger. (Like, shockingly so.) Being deliriously tired actually coexists magnificently well with (an almost embarrassing amount of) twitterpation over your new little bundle. Getting anything done around the house is nigh impossible, and a new mom cares about the state of her living room, but also doesn't really care about it at all. A still-pregnant gal hears tales that new moms forget to shower and thinks it's all silliness, but then baby comes and it ends up being one of the truest truths ever. When she's still pregnant, she thinks she'll turn down anyone who offers to bring dinner over, but when push comes to shove, she ends up gratefully accepting any meal she doesn't have to prepare. Any help that a mother (or mother-in-law or aunt, etc.) provides to the new mom feels very much like a gift directly from heaven. And remember the crush you had on that one boy in high school? That's small potatoes compared to the obsession you'll experience on this new, tiny person. He or she will be all you think about, and all you talk about. To anybody. Ever.

Man, those first few months are a kick in the pants.

It's interesting, wondering and dreaming what baby might be like; envisioning his personality, telling yourself (and believing yourself!) that because he's a boy he'll be low-drama, trying to picture his face--hoping + praying that he won't end up being the wonky-looking cousin when compared to your beautiful nieces and nephews.

I've been wrong on almost every front, folks.

While we were still in the hospital, I mentioned on social media that Thomas was a chill little thing. That was true when it was written, but proved otherwise as soon as we took him home. And thinking he'd be drama-free because he's a he? WRONG-O. My little boy is a drama queen and has been since his first week of life. Fortunately, he's even more beautiful than I could have hoped for in my wildest dreams--his lovely eyes and cute, squishy cheeks have saved him on multiple occasions.

Anyway, this Tommy boy of mine is the raddest thing that has ever happened to Andy + me. And even though he's high-drama + the wiggliest little squirt that ever lived + somehow hates sleep, he's such an awesome little fellow.

He is a smart little thing. I swear, a lot of the frustration he feels comes from not being able to verbalize his thoughts and feelings. He has intelligent eyes, and it's thrilling to watch him grow and learn and progress.

He's a charming little bugger, and I'm pretty sure he knows it.

He has a deep and abiding love for a stuffed giraffe.

He loathes being diapered + clothed, and he fights it. Like, he gives me a good workout some days.

He loves to eat, and prefers eating off Mom + Dad's plate rather than his own.

He has the most expressive face of any human I've ever met.

He loves being outside; he can be throwing a ridiculous tantrum, and if we take him outside, he calms down immediately.

He's the cutest little bear.

And sharky.

Also, I'm pretty sure I'll never get sick of watching him sleep.

Andy and I love this kid more every day, and we're so grateful that we get to be his parents. He's so much fun, and I can't wait to see what this next year brings to our sweet Thomas.

Now I'm going to go to bed and cry myself to sleep.